sudden realization

i have been trying to be someone i am not. i tried to be the funny guy in the group, someone everyone laughs at. i've been trying to be clever. but thats not me. i tried to be the socialite with a million friends. but i can't handle the drama that goes along with that. i tried to be the cute girl every guy wants to take on a date. but i dont have the time for that.

i am the girl who walks down the street alone in the rain and purposefully leaves the umbrella home. i sing anywhere there is music, and if there isnt music i sing anyways. i always have an idea, no matter how wacky it is and i always have to tell someone. i always take an hour to get ready. i got soul but i'm not a soldier. i am a loner and i love it. i think im beautiful.

hello world, i am becca.

lonely = sad??

the definition of lonely is always paired with the emotion of sadness; even dictionary.com defines loneliness as "affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome." But i would beg to differ.

Just because someone is alone doesnt mean that they are sad, there are even times in life that i'm sure you would prefer to be alone. example? reading, sleeping, showering, masturbation, must i continue? But looking past that i find myself prefering my company over other's. Sure i have been labeled concieted but aren't you the perfect person to yourself? (if not you have some changing to do, but that's a matter that needs it's own blog). I never back talk to myself, i always agree to myself, and somehow i always know the right things to tell myself.

Don't get me wrong, i do enjoy others company, but i wouldn't say that just because i take long drives by myself that i'm lonely. My definition of lonely is being by one's self, whether your sad or not is all up to you. Now to quote the great Jimmy Eat World "It's only in your head that you feel left out."

is being concieted bad?

I have been called concieted by a couple of people and i just want to say it here, yes i am concieted but i am not the concieted that the majority has denounced as immoral. I am the concieted that got injustly stereotyped into that group by those that dont know and dont want to know.

There are two type of concieted. Loving yourself because you feel proud and happy about yourself, that you have done something to be proud of. <------- me

The second type is the concieted that assume that they are amazing because they believe they deserve it, they have done nothing to deserve but try to collect the dues that they assume they deserve. (when they don't) This is a much worse evil than just being concieted.

Be the first, be able to be the first.

capitalism vs. equality

the hypocrism of the American people never ceases to amaze me. As a nation we drive to equalize each and everyone of our citizens, yet at the same time we pride ourselves about our "American dream" a.k.a. capitalism. But to equalize our nation we would in fact have to become socialists or even go as far as communism. I have been thinking of this for some time now, and for our society to achieve complete equality, something we have been striving to do since the times of M.L.K. Jr., that would mean we would indeed need to distribute the wealth of our nation more evenly throughout our social classes. To perfectly obtain this long sought after goal of equality we would then have to get rid of our "American dream" or we would become another Cuba. As a side note I am not preaching communism, just pointing out a fact, so dont start another Red Scare and exile me to someother communistic state.

rant + tangents = genius

sorry i have been having a hard time keeping this blog up to date, but its not like any one is reading this anyways.
Huckabee is mandating counseling for any newlywed!!!! and while being gay isnt "socially acceptable" lets support love its not like they are mean to us cause we are HETERO. Our life is our life and we have the full freedom of choice to live it exactly how we want to live it. which leads me to another point --abortion. o i can hear the shudders. for me if the child is threateing your life you have full freedom to do what you want but if you make an "oopsie" put the thing up for adoption, i mean there is a waiting list for those things. Just think of it as a business transaction.
Stem cell research. there going to throw those eggs away anyway, its not like they give us the good caviar. just let them have at it. hey who knows we might cure cancer or something silly like that.
No one else should mandate what choices we make and especially not who we love and what we do. Especially not someone who is going completely off of what his church morals are, arent we supposed to keep church and religion seperate?!?!? jesus (i dont mean that as a name of someone people worship but a simple sigh that means what the hell people how can you be so stupid.) thats all i have for tonight because my energy drink and endorphines from working out is wearing off. Ciao.